It’s the time of year when everyone writes their end of the year summary blog post or talks about all their new year goals and resolutions for 2015. Uhm, I’m still trying to stick to the goals from last year, thank you very much. And yes, I don’t have much time in which to put my thoughts to paper these days and make anything seem very coherent, but here it goes……
Last year on December 31rst, I had absolutely no idea what 2014 would hold, no way of knowing if I would even be able to continue living in Ukraine. I sat and wondered if I would be on a plane with the country going up in smoke behind me as the plane lifted off the runway.
I returned to a country after another revolution and one that was currently invaded by and at war with Russia. At the time, I didn’t know if that move would be smart or not, but with extra cash and emergency bag ready to evacuate on hand, I dug in my heels with the attitude that revolutions and wars are all on the list of missionary occupational hazards.
2014 has been like a big car crash in the middle of my life. Never boring, extremely dramatic, tragic, exciting, wonderful and fulfilling at the same time. I watched kids I worked with play in Ukraine’s Little League Championship and win Kyiv’s Children’s Baseball League’s first tournament in over ten years. I’ve sat with women who’s brave husbands packed a bag, bought a gun and left to protect their country and never came back. I looked deep into the eyes of teenagers who have repeatedly visited American families on hosting tours and then after building a relationship with them, never heard from them again. I’ve spent a lot of time buying food for and talking to elderly women who have no families and do not have enough pension money to live on. I’ve sat and cried with people who have big desires to serve God but come up against roadblocks again and again.
I could go on and on but the picture I’m trying to paint with words is that life, does not always look like you want it to be or go how you want it to go and sometimes ends up looking quite different from what you want it to look like. The more I try to control things, the less effective I am. The more I am open to following God where he leads me and be sensitive to his spirit, the better I can live life with others.
I don’t really feel like I want to hold onto 2014. I am ready to let go. I feel like 2014 was big enough and full enough to last a very long time. It’s done. It was lived to it’s fullest.
In 2015 I want more peace, more love and lots of baseball. I want good coffee and a vacation. I want planes to stay in the sky, dads to stay home from war, orphans to find their strength in themselves and Christ, and for people to let Christ’s love flow freely in this world. We need it.